Hi Russ, how can I help? Must be quick, I'm teeing off at ten with Flavell, Colin and Winston.
G'day sport. I mean, well, it's like this. There's 14 of us in the Beehive now, and well, strewth, we just want a fair suck of the sav, bloody oath we do.
Excellent. I like to see all New Zealanders, even the Australian ones, being aspirational.
Yeah, right, fair play to you John. Bloody oath, you're a man after my own jam tart. Which is why I think we should work together.
Together? Go on (glances at watch)
Well, I mean, come on Johnny boy, how about it?
How about what? (glances at pile of paperwork)
You know mate. A JV. A PPP, a Party Party Partnership. A bloody coalition mate.
I mean, fair dice to a dingo, cobber, it makes a mountain of sense. And you'll be able to ditch those bloody Abos too.
Look sport, think about it. You do the money thing, we'll do the green thing, everyone's happy.
If that's all then, Rusty?
Look mate, hold your horses. We have 14 MPs. We demand a share of the power. You can't govern without us.
Actually, I think you'll find that I can (picks up putter, starts taking practice shots)
Well yes, alright, but it's not bloody fair. We have to have power if we're going to make people think and behave differently. We are the future. We'll change the world, reverse climate change, abolish child poverty, make the rivers cleaner, destroy the dairy polluters, save the whales, we'll......
You forgot the dolphins, Normo. (sinks a long putt). Hey look, did you see that? I'm hot today, watch out Craig!
OK John, look, bloke to bloke, eh? Forget the coalition. How about one cabinet seat, just for me? We can work together, I'll play the game, the environment's rooted anyway. Look, mate, what do you say? I got the bloody arse back home, I need to make a go of it over here, or Belgium's my only option left.
Sorry Russell, it's not going to happen. Gotta go or I'll be late. hey, it didn't come from me, but do yourself a favour. Grab a few shares in this new company, Kiwi UltraNitrates - I heard they are going to get Fed Farmers endorsement next week. Stock should rocket. And any road builders should be a good bet too. See ya.