The Waiheke Local Board Deputy Chair, Beatle Ballard, announces that the LB have acquired a prime site for the new retirement village along the Onetangi Straight.
Merran Lawler announces that she has formed a romantic attachment to Graham Guthrie and wishes to known henceforth as Merrina Lawler.
Shirin Brown announces the launch of "The Other Waiheke Local Board", a Facebook based sustainable and resilient governance model. She claims to have the backing of Jo Holmes, Denise Roach and Hans Versluys.
Local architects Paulronjo and Co are announced as the winners of the "Design a Retirement Village" competition with their audacious scheme to target wealthy retirees into 2 acre luxury subdivisions.
Sandra Fuller is conclusively outed by Hayden Smith as being a fake ID for Rick Hillman on WIPP.
Rumours of trouble at the newly formed Tourism Waiheke Access Trust prompt strong rebuttals from Chair Graham Hooper and Deputy Sue Mcann who claim all is harmonious.
Start up construction firm Denwall Builders (2015) Ltd are awarded the contract by the LB to build the retirement village.
Dr Kelvin Applecart announces he plans to make world class children's podiatry freely available on Waiheke with the opening of the Kids Foot Centre. "A KFC on Waiheke will transform the island" he says.
Shirin Brown announces the launch of "The Other Waiheke Community Pool", a Facebook based model for sustainable and resilient community immersion.
Drunk and confused one Monday night, Hillman picks a particularly vicious fight with Sandra Fuller on Wipp and arranges to meet her "behind the boat sheds" to sort it out "mano a tarto"
Tourism Waiheke Access Trust announces it is to be dissolved by mutual agreement and replaced by the Waiheke And Nearby Knowledge Enhancement Registry.
Hans Versluys announces on Wipp he intends to have gender realignment surgery and become a man.
The Hillman Fuller brawl takes place, a nasty, one-sided affair. A badly injured Hillman is taken by air ambulance to Ponui Island to dry out.
A sensational Marketplace editorial reveals that licence applications for exploratory fracking in for Rangihouha Wetlands have been applied for by start-up firm Tavares & Stansfield.
Local Board member John Meuwsen reacts angrily to suggestions he has a temper problem.
The Lawler Guthrie wedding takes place aboard a 172m yacht moored in the new marina at Matiatia, and is the island society's event of the year. Best man John Hawksbee collapses dead drunk midway through his speech and is replaced by Janet Moore who's speech is generally agreed to be "dry as a nun's nasty".
Bill English steps down to allow rising star Will Ryan to assume the portfolio of Finance Minister. Ryan's first move is to abolish tax on income, and double tax on benefits.
Evidence of historic Maori artefacts, including instant noodle pots, TAB tickets and Lion Red bottles at the Countdown Ostend construction site is dismissed as "irrelevant" by site manager Mark Freeman
The Kids Foot Centre announces it's new canteen will focus mainly on fried chicken products.
The new Waiheke school pool is opened 16 months ahead of schedule. "Its a miracle of God and of hard work", said spokesman Ban Dallard. "And when we get some lining, and when it finally rains, it'll be even better" he added.
Shirin Brown announces the launch of "The Other Waiheke KFC" a Facebook based sustainable and resilient fast food restaurant.
It rains for 30 days and 30 nights. The pool finally has water in it. The Local Board announce "extensive SLIPS funding for a community ark project". "It'll be ready in 10 days, or may god strike me down", says spokesman Ban Dallard.
Shirin Brown wins the Powerball jackpot of $77 million, acquires Ponui Island and announces the launch of "The Other Waiheke", a sustainable and resilient environment in which to further sustainability and resilience until they are both sustainable and resilient in the truest sense of the words.
Waiheke And Nearby Knowledge Enhancement Registry is placed in administration following accusations of gross financial impropriety favouring souvenir shops in Oneroa.
Much to everyone's surprise, Merrina Lawler confirms she is 8 months pregnant with triplets.
The body of Ban Dallard, victim of an apparent rogue lightning strike, is recovered from the school pool.
Tourist numbers reach an all time high with 17 ferry companies competing for business.
The Kids Food Centre is closed after Dr Applecart is revealed to have very little knowledge of podiatry, relying mainly on Google for his diagnoses and treatments.
Susie Newborn, Ursula Hill and Sandra Fuller claim on WIPP that Finance Minister Will Ryan has fathered love children with them. The office of Dr Ryan issue a strong denial stating he was in Hawaii at the time.
Rick Hillman returns from exile on Ponui, sober, and announces his intention to devote his time to helping Jo Holmes return to local government, in particular as the Waiheke Local Board.
Disgraced doctor, Kelvin Applecart, reinvents himself as a psychoanalyst and announces world class analysis will be free to all on Waiheke when he opens his new clinic: Mental Agility, Correction, Chanelling And Sense. Early bookings are promising.
Sue Mcann announces her intention of forming a new tourism authority designed "to serve the needs of souvenir retailers in Oneroa" called the I Centre.
An apparent mass suicide pact amongst all pet rabbits on Waiheke is confirmed as "suspicious" by police sergeant Letsby Affernew.
Kristina Patterson announces plans to return to Waiheke, stating "there are no longer any post natally depressed mothers in Dargaville"