The four day Easter break is almost upon us.
Make the most of it, because it can't last. The days of Easter are numbered.
Much like that other faux Christian holiday, Christmas, Easter's religious significance has been devalued to a minimum. At Christmas we think Barbies and beaches. At Easter, it’s bunnies and chocolate.
And fair enough, to be honest.
The Christian mythology behind these dates, dates I might add which were hijacked from Pagan festivals in order to propogate the tidal wave of insanity that was early Christianity, has very little relevance in today's world.
Any rational adult now accepts that Jesus never actually performed any miracles. He didn't rise from the dead, he didn't feed 5000 with the contents of a school lunch box, and, to my utmost regret, he didn't event convert water into wine.
Had he done so, and chosen to share this gift with his devotees, we might well now be looking forward to a 6 week Easter break.
Changing water into wine, that's a talent with genuine modern relevance. But rising from the dead? That's hardly going to solve the world's population problem, not to mention the complications for inheritance tax.
And therein lies the biggest challenge facing Christianity today.
You see, back in the day when the whole God thing was a very crowded and localised game, the fledgling Christian movement saw a real opportunity to gain wider traction, market dominance even.
In order to impress and convert the masses, they invented incredible stories. Wise priests swore these to be true, and the masses, lacking high speed internet access to research the veracity of these improbable claims, bought into it.
And in a rare stroke of genius, the god squad got permission to peddle their rubbish to the most credible of all, school children.
Times, of course, have changed.
But instead of quietly debunking their own myths and moving with the trend of greater public access to scientific information which showed the Bible to be generally the greatest work of fiction ever (until Jackie Collins novels came along), the Christians stuck to their guns.
God did create the earth, they swore. It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Lazarus wasn't the greatest comeback ever (now dwarfed by Steve Walsh' return to international refereeing), he was revived by Jesus, who himself did a Lazarus after being crucified, they insist. Yeah right.
If perchance you do believe all that rubbish, can I suggest Googling Tooth Fairy or Santa as a start on the road to intellectual redemption?
A much better approach would have been that God was generally an answer used to explain questions which science had yet to answer, and that, since there a whole heap of questions which we still can't really answer, God must therefore still be a decent bet, better anyway than 42.
Mind you, I suppose you have to admire the resilient of the Christian faith, even though they remain an institution steeped in thousands of years of hypocrisy.
They ask us to give money to help the poor, yet are still one of the richest institutions in the world. They rail against gay marriage, yet seem to regard paedophiliac tendencies as vocational.
And they continue to base their beliefs and their preaching around a bunch of fantasies that could be debunked by the average year 10 science student.
Not even the Greens can get away with that sort of credibility gap (4 seats max come October, the world is waking up to the watermelons).
But resilient though Christianity might be, sustainable it is not. Church attendance continues to decline. Use of google to answer difficult questions continues to grow. God is becoming increasing last century. Or last millennium maybe. Yesterday’s news anyway.
Unless the Christian faith hits on a good gimmick (like Jihad against the unbeliever, you have to admire those Muslim marketing managers, they really know their stuff), I predict that in the not too distant future, Easter as we know it will cease to exist.
So when you say “Thank God for Easter” this Friday morning as you lie abed sipping on your cup of tea or roll the missus over for a spot of genuflection, you will actually be speaking a great truth. Far greater than anything you’ll read in the Bible anyway.
By Jerry Flay
Several commentators have asked me to publish their blogs on my site. The blogs on this page are not my own nor do they necessarily reflect my views. However, I do believe there is a need for a place where differing voices to those allowed in the local media can be expressed.