In Parnell. Phone rings......
Hello, this is John Key, Prime Minister.....again!
Oh hi, Peter, how's things? (signs sale of Lochinver Statsion to Chinese)
Yes, thanks, it was good, wasn't it. Just hold on one moment (signs TPPA)
Now, how can I help? A cabinet position? Oh well, now that we have an overall majority..... Haha, just joking, I'm sure we can find you something, what do you fancy? (Signs authorisation of mass surveillance) Social Affairs? Got it, it's all yours. Jamie wanted Treaty Oversight for David, so that's that one sorted too. Now just to find something for Judith (signs Dotcom extradition order).
Yes mate, certainly we are going to use this majority to bring on a few of those "other" policies. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I think tax cuts, asset sales and fracking licences are going to be dominating the headlines.
OK Peter, well done, see you Monday. ................
Meanwhile, in a kayak somewhere on the Hauraki Gulf a cell phone rings
Gday Dave. Not our night, eh mate? Never mind sport. 3 years time, we should start planning.
Well no mate, that's not fair. It's no use saying if I had been smarter and greener we might have won.
I told you to shut up and let him speak.
And mate, whilst we are doing the recriminations thing, and it's only anecdotal, of course, but a bunch of people have said to me you have the most punchable face they have ever seen. Might explain your showing, eh?
See ya. ................
Meanwhile, in Coatesville
Ja, Honkey, I get you are bitter. Ja, ja, A white motherfucker is right. Ja, it is alright for me, with my millions salted away.
Was is das? next time Mana Internet? Ja, whatever, Honkey, dream on bro, I will be long gone.
Bye Honkey. ...............
Meanwhile, in Whangarei the phone rings....
Hello! Colin? What the hell do you want? No, I am not going to merge with the Conservatives. Irrelevant, they were our policies first. How much money? OK, well maybe then. Let's meet next week for coffee. But I get to be leader, OK? Good. See you then. ...............
Meanwhile, all over New Zealand People are rejoicing, cheering, hugging, laughing. Commonsense has prevailed. The future is bright. Good on you, bros!